Sometimes called the “sandwich generation”, adult children with growing families of their own are finding themselves assuming responsibility for parents who are living longer than previous generations. Planning for the future needs of aging parents can often be a sensitive and delicate task for adult children to undertake.
While they may seem daunting, these discussions can open doors of communication and strengthen bonds. Here are three tips to get started.
1. Assess the Situation
The first step is to do an assessment of your parents’ situation — the ins and outs of their social connections, financial lives, health status and other details that’ll influence their later-in-life care. Here are seven things to consider:
- Physical home — All the information related to mortgage, rent and property
- Spiritual home — Church, pastor, wishes for funeral services and burial
- Health — Current health conditions, allergies, prescriptions, medical history, doctors’ names and contact information
- Vital documents and information — Social Security number(s); location of key documents, including birth and marriage certificates, home deed or lease, insurance policies, powers of attorney, wills, living will and trusts; organ donation preferences; passwords for email accounts, online banking, credit cards, frequent flyer programs and mobile phones; and home security system codes
- Insurance — Health, life, auto, homeowners, disability and long-term care insurance ID numbers and contacts
- Finances — Contacts for financial advisors and banks; list of assets, debts, tax returns, loan records, safe deposit boxes, credit cards and any personal or business financial information
- Friends, relatives and neighbors — Contacts of key people in their lives, list of who has extra keys and access to the house, local emergency contacts
2. Put Together a Plan
Once a parent has diminished capacity, can no longer live on his/her own and/or requires extensive medical care, the financial, legal, emotional and logistical decisions can feel overwhelming. That’s why having a plan in place before it’s needed is so vital. Be sure to address these areas:
- Finances. This can be delicate, but it’s important. You’ll need to discuss their assets, current budget and budget going forward. Include discussions about their desired standard of living — and what changes would need to happen, given financial constraints.
- Housing. How long can parents stay in their home? Can they afford home health care? What about assisted living? Additional care? These are all discussions that need to happen before a move is required.
- Legal considerations and estate planning. You’ll need to make sure that all beneficiaries, powers of attorney, advanced directives, living wills and estate planning have been addressed. Finding a financial professional who specializes in estate planning and retirement income can be greatly beneficial. They can help educate you on ways to potentially increase income, cut taxes, reduce risk and simplify recordkeeping. If you or your parents have a relationship with other professionals such as an attorney or tax advisor, you’ll want to make sure they’re looped in as well.
- Long-term care.Three out of four Americans will need some sort of long-term care in their lifetime, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Private health insurance, Medicare and Medicaid do not cover the kind of long-term care that’s most widely needed: help with activities of daily life. Preparing for it by making arrangements ahead of time is a wise part of retirement planning.
3. Find Additional Ways to Help
There is a wealth of online information to help you navigate these waters, such as:
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